I love how Debussy captured the impressionist era--so ethereal and mesmerizing. I'm inserting a Monet to meditate on while you listen to the music (below the video).
After experiencing some major setbacks in life, I had managed to get myself into an extremely dark place. In fact, I look back on that time and it's all kind of a blur. I became increasingly unsettled in my thought processes and decided it was time to do something about it, so I did a little research on "reprogramming the brain." This post will cover some of the important points I discovered through the study of "Mind-Science."
The first thing I became aware of is that I've been addicted to my negative emotions (as many people are). Scientifically, our emotional addictions have their roots in our past and the only way to dissolve those addictions is by recognizing them and establishing new patterns. Sounds logical right? Many of us already know this and may truly believe we have taken corrective action and moved on, so why is it that nothing is changing for the better in our lives? Recently, scientists are telling us it's because our brains have become physically wired into these negative patterns, so on a subconscious level, the only way to satisfy the addiction is by repeating the pattern. Many of us don't recognize the pattern or the addiction, so the cycle continues.
Back in the day, when I was living my old story, the love I had for my husband felt hopeful and exciting. We had so much we wanted to do and share with each other. It wasn't until years later, when life didn't go the way we both felt it should, that love began to feel painful. We spent years in that pain. Our brains had developed those connections and used the same pathways associated with that pain--constantly, over and over again. We weren't able to sustain our relationship and finally separated after many years together.
If love is considered such a positive emotion, how can so many bad feelings come from it?
It's because we associate our love with the negative experiences that have occurred over a period of time, reinforcing those negative pathways. Our emotions, completely influenced by our ego, is what drives most of us to take action, fly off the handle, be hurtful, or have a need to be right. This action is triggered by the association of past events in our lives. Our own individual world is one long story created by the self (ego). This story isn't the truth of who we are at our core. It is the self that is separated from God and acting through conditional thinking; it functions at a superficial, unconscious level. However the ego may still capture glimpses of consciousness or awareness.
Have you ever experienced that? A moment where you are fully present and can see yourself objectively? A moment where you fully realize you are more than your thoughts or your physical body? It is a feeling of warmth and knowing and one-ness with our Creator. It is a moment that we realize our worry, resentment, anger, anxiety--mean nothing.
After doing some reading and watching a few videos on the subject (some of which are inserted below) I know that when it comes to the brain, "nerve cells that fire together--wire together" (Donald Hebb "Hebb's axiom"). If we are repeatedly practicing the same anger, frustration, or sadness--over the same type of situation, we are reinforcing the behavior that causes those connections to develop a long term relationship. It's called Neuroplasticty and it's not just theory anymore.
Some short videos that describe neuroplasticity in VERY simple terms.
Creating New Pathways
How do we reverse this negative way of thinking and acting? I'm just going to scratch the surface here by saying that one way to do it is by being fully present in the moment and practicing gratitude. When one is present, it is much easier to capture negative thoughts and see them for what they are. Another way is by visualizing what we want in the future and actually experiencing it. We must meditate on it as if it were real. What does it look like, feel like, smell like? How does it make you feel? What are the sounds and other sensations you are experiencing? Studies show that our subconscious mind can't tell the difference whether it's real or not.
Building New Pathways
“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
I've written in previous posts about being "present in the moment" (mindfulness) and I plan to go much more into detail about this topic. Mindfulness gives us far better perspective. It helps us to be grateful for what we have and are--thereby, interrupting negative cycles. I believe it is the key to living a content and happy life. It is within us all, so we can always access it. No more "I'll be happy when..."
I don't like putting too much focus on the negative aspects of life, but we all need to have an understanding of what is "bad" in order to move forward into what's "good." If you are a person who is holding onto anger, resentment or some type of grudge, you need to know what it's doing to your body and your life. We all have this in us at one time or another. I've known some people who spend their whole miserable lives directing this immobilizing energy towards one single person.
I think the term "immobilizing energy" (I just made that up by the way) is a good one because that's exactly what it is. Our thoughts and our energy remain fixed on that resentment, keeping us from seeing or acknowledging anything good that might be trying to make it's way towards us. It's a curse. A curse that we place on ourselves. When we are unable to see anything good in our lives, we are unable to move forward, thereby becoming immobilized. Make sense?
Not only that, but let's tackle the other part of it; where does all of that festering anger-energy end up? It's got to go somewhere. We're all very aware where it goes for those Type-A personalities aren't we? They are the door-slammers, plate-throwers and wife-beaters. Type-A's are known for their risk of heart-attack and high blood pressure, as well as higher incidents of external injury. What about the more passive Type-B personalities? These are the people who allow negative emotions to simmer over long periods of time, slowly eating away at the body from the inside. These are emotions that create bad habits and bad stress in the body. This bad stress is linked to a whole host of diseases weakening the immune system. Cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, arthritis, depression and chronic inflammation are just a few of the ailments caused by this type of stress.
I don't think I need to site my sources here. If you are a human being living on this earth, you have been exposed to this information. NOW is the time to take head. If you want to learn more about how the body reacts to stress, just Google--stress and disease, effects of chronic inflammation or stress and cancer as keywords. There is a plethora of material out there, with a large percentage of it coming from reputable sources.
Turning it Around
Now that we've reacquainted ourselves with the ugly side of our negative emotions, how do we turn it around? I've written about it here on this blog in previous posts. We place ourselves into a setting that promotes giving, mindfulness and gratitude. I'm going to add one more thing and it's something that is covered in most of the major religions and philosophies; it's the act of taking our thoughts captive and bringing them into submission. It takes work. We can start out with the most debilitating of our thoughts and once we've gotten into the flow and built up our thought-capturing muscle, we will begin to apply it instinctively to all our negative thought-patterns.
It's pretty easy to see how this would release the flow of positive energy back into our lives isn't it? It's a basic principle. It's a biblical principle. It is a law of attraction.
3 things to put into practice NOW:
Forgive the person and the circumstance, then go to work on forgiving yourself.
Take the time to see where you may be of help to others. It will force your eyes off yourself and get you thinking from a better perspective.
Practice the art of prayer, meditation or mindfulness (or all three). It's good for turning your thoughts around and making the important things more clear.
The illusion is all around us. Do you take time to think for yourself? Or do you allow your government, culture, church, educational system, peers, parents, spouse, siblings or favorite news channel to do it for you?
To most of us, happiness is conditional. It is a fleeting emotional state based on things, relationships or stations in life not yet attained. When it does make an appearance we are only ever able to get a glimpse of it because we have not yet mastered the art of mindfulness for any length of time. What is mindfulness? It is gratitude at it's best. It is being fully present in the now and holding it for as long as possible.
Here is one of the most beautiful videos you will ever see on the topic of genuine gratitude (mindfulness). Please watch. It's about ten minutes long and it is time well-spent.
I'm just learning this stuff, but I can tell you it has made a huge difference in my life. I find that when I take my camera out into nature, it's very easy to get myself into a state of mindfulness. Maybe that's why I crave nature so much, it brings more life to me. Other times are when I'm hanging out with my sons and I stand back for a moment and watch them interact with each other, or when I'm petting my dogs, or listening to a piece of music that moves me. I spend quite a bit of time in solitude during school breaks. During that time I immerse myself in books, music, writing, nature, and positive thinking as much as possible. All these things help me to be fully present.
Lately, I've been working hard at mindfulness with other people. I've had such a lack of confidence in myself all my life that when I've had an opportunity to meet someone, I'd be so focused on ME that it was extremely hard to remember the other person's name just ten seconds after hearing it. I'd be so caught up in how that other person might be judging me, I could barely retain the words coming out of their mouth. I don't want to be that kind of person anymore. When we truly love the person we are, that type of stuff is not an issue. We don't need that kind of approval from others, so we are free to include them into our sphere of mindfulness. I realize loving oneself isn't as easy as I make it sound. It takes a lot of work, but there are ways of obtaining this type of revelation. Louise Hay's books and videos are really good for this. Her exercises might seem silly at first but she's not a world-renowned author and healer for nothing.
as written on its best-seller book with Mark Victor Hansen
I believe that I have the potential to create a great, enlightened fortune.
I believe that wealth creation is a code that I was destined to crack. It is a learnable, teachable, and easily transferable skill. It makes all other skills more valuable, useful, and profitable.
I believe that almost everyone has millions of potential dollars in them awaiting the requisite stimulus – the enlightened spark.
I believe that I have an abundance of enlightened million dollar ideas – seeds that can grow into fortunes. These seeds can sprout in the form of information, books, copyrights, products, services, inventions, licenses, plays, patents, songs, movies, franchises, TV shows, trademarks, processes, etc.
I believe that my richest harvest may arise not from seeds of obvious opportunity, but from seeds of adversity. When I resolve my personal life challenges, other will reward me for helping them pull the weeds from their own adversity gardens of hidden wealth.
I am coded with my DNA to solve and resolve an issue for my self and then to prosper with it by solving it for all others.
I believe that I have been given unique talents. By using my total talents at their highest and best levels I will be happier, healthier and more fulfilled now and my contributions will leave a lasting legacy.
I believe that enlightened profits are the just reward for serving greatly.
I believe that my time is best invested in creating residual income, where I work once and am paid infinitely.
I believe that my dream is more quickly realized by aligning myself with an enlightened team. As a team, we can create multiple streams of enlightened, residual income.
I believe my ultimate legacy is to become an enlightened, residual philanthropist dedicated to doing lasting good works of perpetual philanthropy.
Your name___________________________Date_______________________
Most of us are familiar with the concept of sowing and reaping, but it seems that when we come into some type of struggle, life becomes all about us and our own survival. We go inward and get stuck in an immobilizing state; our thoughts fixed on the problem/s. Sometimes we can go so deep into ourselves that we are oblivious to anything else--including the people we love and should be caring for. It is a very selfish place to be, stuck in a downward spiral where we think the world should revolve around us--but isn't.
I recently watched a series of YouTube videos featuring Tony Robbins "Breakthrough" show which aired on NBC a couple years ago. Each one had me choked up and crying like a baby. I could relate. He gathered up some people who had gone through some pretty extreme adversity and had not been able to pull themselves out of it. Tony would have them go through exercises that would: 1. Get them out of their environment; 2. Shock them into a different state; 3. Get them to confront their real issues; 4. Expand their limits; 5. Change their perspective; 6. Own the lesson; 7. Design a compelling future.
Many of us can relate to what it's like to be so buried in crap that our environment is like quicksand, pulling us down into what feels like the center of the earth; then how much better we feel when we can leave that environment to clear our minds. The first five of the exercises in the show were designed to get these people to see things from a different perspective. One of the ways he accomplished this was to have them go to a place where there were people far less fortunate (from our point of view) and then live among them. He would leave them there until he was sure they really understood the lesson. They were only able to prove they understood the lesson by getting outside of themselves and helping others. That was key.
Do we all need to go that far to get the lesson? Some of us do. Some of us actually want to in order to fully understand the issues and pain. This is called empathy and it is an emotional giving. There are two other categories of giving--each equally important; we can give financially and we can give of our time. The problem with financial giving by itself, is that it's usually more of an impersonal gift. The giver may have heartfelt intentions or it may just be a tax write-off. To fully understand the human condition and empathize with it, there is no other way but to entrench ourselves in the midst of it all and show others we care. We may not have the same understanding as those doing the suffering, but sometimes all another human being needs to know is that someone else can SEE him or her.
I know that in the title of this post I said "the Reward Will Come" and I would like to make something clear about that. I'm not saying that where we give should depend on what we'll get out of it. There are many types of rewards. What you are passionate about will usually determine how you will be rewarded. I happen to be passionate about helping women find hope. It's something I can relate to. Maybe you are someone with some type of disability and you can help others through theirs? Maybe you're someone who has been homeless or close to it and can help people through that experience? There are many, many people who are addicted to one thing or another, and who once ready, could definitely use some mentoring on the subject of staying clean. When and where do you experience empathy? There is no end to how we can give of ourselves. What else could we possibly be here for if it's not to benefit the rest of humanity?
We can pull ourselves out of the darkness by taking the hand of someone else and helping them out. In a perfect world the cycle of reaching out and paying it forward would continue. All we can do is our own part. If we continually act in this manner and make it an important part of our lives--the rewards will come when and where we least expect them to. Into our spirit, health, finances, relationships and in many other areas.
Live to give and watch the laws of attraction in action.
One Love!
Dana
By the way, Tony Robbins went to my high school (Glendora High, in Glendora, California). He was a senior when I was a sophomore. This is a picture of him I took out of my yearbook :-)